Saturday, May 22, 2010
Why I'm publishing ebooks 2.
So, what was one more leap of faith in a series? Each time I put a project out on my own I had some degree of success. Why was I so slow to launch my books into cyberspace?
I came to the conclusion my hesitation was partially because I liked the way a good book felt in my hands. I liked being able to use its jacket flap as a bookmark. The books on my shelves mark periods of my life, and to have the passages accessible to me, even with those little dust mites crawling around seemed important. I cherish books, the ones I read during college, pregnancy, bus rides to and from Manhattan. I thought about novels I read in hospital rooms as the people in my life departed. Couldn't I keep the voices or spirit of my books the same way I held onto people who had died? Wasn't reading always more of a spiritual experience?
Adapting to a device would mean my entire manner of reading would change. It had always been so exciting to open a new book and anticipate the experience. I wouldn't hear the sound of the paper as I turned pages or feel it against my fingers. I wouldn't be able to eyeball a book and see the approximate number of pages I had left to read. But on the other hand, physical books could be bulky. If you fell asleep under one it could fall and poke your eye.
I borrowed my husband's Kindle and gave it a try. And just like when I went from a manual typewriter to an electric, an electric typewriter to a PC I could immediately feel a rush of excitement. I tried to keep my mind on the book I was reading, but it wasn't long before I began thinking about the convenience of having a portable library. I compiled a mental list of books I'd love never to be without. And in less than an hour I was back on the computer choosing which of my manuscripts to test publish.
Wednesday, May 19, 2010
Why I'm publishing ebooks 1.
This feeling of liberation is not new to me. I've experienced it when I first started working in midtown New York, when I've left relationships that weren't working, and even when I've given birth. But this time it's different. This time I didn't have to cross a river, cry a river, or even go into labor. I simply uploaded two files and magically produced an ebook.
How I envy the young writers who will never know the pain and expense of SASE postage. I've sacrificed pounds and pounds of dead trees, ink, and self-esteem trying to do what I can now do so easily--publish my books.
The irony of it is I started out this way. I self-published my way to a Lifetime movie deal with my first novel JITTERS. I sold the book in bridal gift baskets, conceived of a catalogue called PMS (pre-marital stress) that carried items to relax a jittery bride, and managed to get some industry reviews as well as placement in bridal magazines. And why did I self publish? Because the agents and publishers who received my manuscript in 1980 said no one would believe a woman would hesitate to marry the nice doctor in my book, even though in the late 70s divorce novels lined the shelves. Cheery novels like Marilyn French's "The Womens Room" were published I thought to alert young women to the horrors of marriage.
Fast forward a good ten years. I now have my own divorce experience behind me. I'm remarried and in the process of raising three children. I've acquired some work experience in the temp industry, freelance writing, cable TV, radio, broadcast TV, and the insurance industry, yes insurance--where I actually learned some technical skills. More importantly, I met my husband, and, smart guy that he is, Steve encourages me to use those newly honed skills to get my work out to the public. He expects me to think of my book as merchandise. What?
I put up the usual fight. Publishing doesn't work that way. I'd lose my virgin writer status and no one would ever touch me. I had no chance against the big muscle out there. To his credit, he never pointed out the obvious--that no one wanted me now, that I had no real sense of whether my book was good or not until I took this leap of faith. He only asked if it was about taking on the publishing industry or being a writer?
These were the questions I recently revisited before floating my first ebook into cyberspace at the bargain basement price of $2.99. Worse than any divorce, I had been through traditional publishing in an unconventional way. I'd had three New York agents and two Hollywood ones. Though they took on seven of my manuscripts and five screenplays, none resulted in a single sale.
My first "book" contract came in 2006 after I self published MOTHER. Somehow, again through my husband who unbeknownst to me, stuffed my two published books into his briefcase and managed to get them to the good people at Bookspan. With some editing, they republished MOTHER through their own, newly formed publishing company Madison Park Press, making it available only to members of the book clubs. In fact, I even made it into the Pierre Hotel for their annual shindig. It was there that I learned MOTHER was going to be the main selection of the Literary Guild and Doubleday book clubs. They arranged for MOTHER to be reviewed by the Library Journal and Publishers Weekly, promoted the heck out of the book, and I still couldn't get an agent or publisher to release MOTHER to the general public. To add insult to injury, Madison Park Press, the publishing arm of the book clubs was closed not two months after the release of MOTHER. So, there went that slight door crack. For months afterward I wondered if I had been the bad luck charm that had brought a publishing company headed buy the highly regarded Carole Baron to an untimely end.
I went back to writing plays and videos as usual, as a respite from my unpublishing business. I still had a stack of manuscripts on my desk, most of which had ridden to New York and back, agents and publishers, multiple times. I picked up my guitar again, did volunteer work, worked with my husband to launch our organic beef business, and stayed present mentally for my kids' last years in high school. We had lots of parties. I had a nice life. It was filled with family, friends, music, good food, and the arts. But alone in my office those manuscripts loomed.
Publishing JITTERS had been my husband's idea. Publishing MOTHER had been mine because the book still made me cry when I read it. I took a first step and began to read my old manuscripts. All were books I wrote in nine-month intervals following the school year from September to June. I took a deep breath. I started with "State of Disgrace" as a test. I not only wanted to see if I could let the book go so to speak, but I wanted to see how I felt about having it out there without paper. I had bought a Kindle for my husband who was traveling more and more, and I wasn't even sure how to use it. I loved my books in paper form but I'd also always benefitted from technology. In the midst of deciding, I wandered back and forth to a thread on Linkedin asking if "self publishing should just go away and let real publishing take over?" The thread had been ongoing for months, and I sometimes learned a thing or two reading comments from publishing "professionals." But other times I could barely stomach it. I knew if I produced and directed an independent film I would never have this feeling of shame. So I invested in an HD camera and tried to forget my books. But I couldn't. They were still all there, boxed and ready to go.
In all good stories, you return to the beginning. What motivated me the first time to risk actual money to publish my book? I had always been a person of faith, and if I hadn't been before selling JITTERS to Lifetime after every agent I spoke to assured me I was competing with Danielle Steele and had no chance--I would have easily been a convert afterward.
